Today was the day I got to get back to my Sacred Try. It's actually a Scared Trust, a schedule you sign when you become a prayer missionary at IHOP, but mine has been a Sacred Try these last few months as I have juggled homeschooling, teaching an FSM class and just plain life. It was amazing to be in the prayer room for 4 straight hours again (not quite long enough.....) The first hour was a bit difficult as I started into Julie Meyers set singing along with the team, "There's an open door - let me see behind the open door" (Revelation 4). All of a sudden I am hit with the thought, "Crud, I have unfinished business." So an hour of repentance later, I could sing again with freedom.

On another subject, I have been missing my mother the last few days in a big, incredible way. I think it was brought on by Mother's Day and the desire to go lay flowers on her grave, but being 500 miles away from the cemetery. I have never actually been up to the gravesite. I should have, but I haven't. I was always afraid -- afraid that I wouldn't be able to cope with seeing their names on the stone. RICHARD WAYNE KELSEY, APRIL 17, 1947-MARCH 27, 1999. VERONICA LEE KELSEY, FEBRUARY 26, 1949-JULY 6, 1999. Oh, yes, it's the same grave, in case you were wondering. Kind of funny, really. I remember when we went to the graveside service for my dad, my mom looked at the paperwork and in an eerie prophetic way told us, "I can be buried in the same vault ya' know." Three months later we drove up the same lane at the VA Cemtery in Dayton, Ohio to do another service that I wasn't prepared for. I spoke, prayed and we let balloons fly to symbolize the place she really was. I went back 2 years later with Zion and only got as far as a few rows from the grave. I could see the names, but there was a creepy man hanging out and I decided to leave. I never went back.

I know flowers are more for me than for my parents. They are probably part of the cloud of witnesses cheering me on, and would be greatly annoyed that I spent money on flowers instead of something fun for the boys. I think I will give her flowers every month when we are in the milennium. They will grow every month I hear - and be for the healing of the nations. I think I may pick some for myself too!